“Ugh. Another mom using her child as a prop in a post glorifying alcohol.”
Yes, and no.
This post came from me. 5 years ago. Do I look at it now and get a shiver down my spine? Yes but not for the reasons you might think.
As a sober mom for more than 4 years now, when I look at this post I feel heartbreaking sadness. I was so lonely and overwhelmed when I posted this. Motherhood consumed me. I turned to alcohol almost like a friend. She was always there for me. She accepted me as I was… no judgment. She softened the suffering for just a moment.
Little did I know.
Little did I know alcohol is actually a depressant and was making my loneliness and struggles harder. Little did I know that this was a toxic relationship that would take far more than it ever gave. Little did I know that every time I drank I was increasing my tolerance to require more and more for the same effect. I could eventually drink a bottle of wine and feel stone cold sober.
Little did I know that making these “cute” posts on my Facebook was actually a cry for help. Hoping and praying people would validate my need for wine. Hoping people would reach out. Hoping others understood how scary and lonely motherhood can be in these early days.
The problem with mommy wine culture is not the wine. It’s not the mommy. It is normalizing alcohol as a coping strategy for something that alcohol cannot do. Alcohol can’t and never will ease the challenges of motherhood. It will never support mothers who feel overwhelmed and alone.
When I see posts like this now, I try to resist feeling angry or defensive. I try to remember that what this mom is probably looking for in her post has nothing to do with wine. She’s looking for something so much deeper and maybe, perhaps, she just doesn’t know that yet.
