Postpartum body image is a hot and possibly triggering topic for many of us. I am by no means an expert on this, or a mental health professional or doctor. But I do come from a place of first-hand experience on the subject and have had many conversations with women and read hundreds and hundreds of social media posts on this.
Mamas, let’s start at the beginning: Our bodies were created to bear and birth children. Now if you’re a believer, you know that because of the fall some of us are not able to do this. I am brave enough to say that even those of you who have not experienced pregnancy or childbirth have struggled or currently struggle with body image.
The first thing I want to say is: it is not your fault! I mean, have you looked at your social media feed for longer than 2 seconds? It is filled with moms all over our communities, country and world celebrating how they don’t look like they ever had a baby.
Other moms worship this idea, which just creates this crazy pressure for the rest of us to ask questions like: “Am I doing something wrong?” “What is wrong with me and my body?” Then the world tells us that if we ‘’really’’ wanted (fill in the blank) we just need to work harder and we will get there. What a recipe for disaster!
Let me make something clear here. Taking care of our bodies, eating healthy, moving our bodies, practicing good hygiene, and wearing clean clothes are all good things that we should be doing as a means to honor and glorify God with what he has given us. There is nothing inherently bad about working out and wanting to look nice.
The problem is when we make this an idol. It’s a problem when we are comparing ourselves to others, or when in order to feel good about ourselves or feel like we’ve accomplished something, we want or need other women/moms to say, ‘’Wow you look great!” or “How do you look like that after having a baby?” or “You do not even look like you had a baby!”
My question is, why do we so desperately want to look like we never had a baby? What are our true heart motives in bouncing back to our pre-baby weight? Have you ever stopped to think about this? There are so many moms out there thinking they are not good enough for themselves or their children because if they only had more discipline, or wanted it badly enough, or worked harder, they could look like they never had a baby.
Moms, we’re not in competition with other moms; we are in community. Why are we competing to see who is the ‘’most fit” mom in the room, someone that everyone envies because her body looks like she never birthed a child? Can you imagine if our culture would celebrate the moms who looked like they had babies?
We can still be healthy and feel good about ourselves without making a ‘’perfect” body an idol in our postpartum bodies. We are constantly bombarded with messages like ‘’There are no excuses, any mom can do this,’’ ‘’Shame on you, you’re not only out of shape, but you also do not care about your kids enough to model a healthy lifestyle.’’
Let’s be real: many of us are just trying to get through the day, maybe even battling postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. Can we work together? I am not saying don’t post about your fitness and health journey. I am saying, maybe consider the mama reading on the other side, that she is still enough and worthy and should be proud of her postpartum body.
While we get busy judging who is a better mom based on their PP figure or who’s a more-put-together woman based on what she looks like, God is looking at our heart. We can turn to God with a desire to be healthy to worship and honor him.
Instead of shaming our bodies for having a mommy tummy or priding ourselves on creating a ‘’better than before baby body,” let’s submit our lives to Christ. He can help us know how moving our bodies, eating healthy, and modeling a healthy lifestyle for our kids are good things. He also may just remind us to get some extra rest and skip the gym today. Health is a gift from God, and we should invest and foster it when and however we can.
Today, ask yourself: Where are your eyes resting? On your social media feed? On the mom in the pickup line who looks perfect? On the new shirt you got with hopes that it will cover your tummy? On your goal to work out every day this week?
Or is it resting on God and his faithfulness and hope in your motherhood and postpartum figure? Turn to him. The mommy belly stretch marks or loose skin may not go away, but your worry about yourself and what you look like just might.
Zaribel Clay is a business owner in downtown Elizabeth City.
